Loving Authentically: Values and the Pitfalls of Codependency

The trap of desperately trying to be our partner’s match by sacrificing who we are

Values represent the highest order of psychological construct for humans… if we really understand our own values, they can serve as a guide to how to live right.

Dr. Sean Lyons

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything…or anyone. All in the name of not dying alone.

In my opinion, it’s often the imaginary starter pistol that goes off in our late 30s that fuels this fear of “dying alone”. Gotta hurry up! Almost 40! Death is always an isolating thing. Unless you put the fam in a trench and pull a grenade pin, of course. (I understand what people mean, though.) But the old adage “you can’t take it with you” applies to your loved ones too. Personally, I think we should be more concerned that life is passing us by. Meanwhile we’re investing precious time in this mad dash, void of dignity, trying to make it work with fallen fruit. Maybe if you’d just quit looking at your damn feet and hold your head high, you could see a healthy relationship is within your grasp.

You know, I’ve written quite a lot on the subject of codependency. I sat with this piece for a while. I thought about how to explain, in…